Mentis- Two columns: "in my hands" and "not in my hands".
- Pick one small next step from the first column and do it today.
- Let the second column wait, on purpose.
- In Mentis: "In My Hands, Not In My Hands", a journal activity in the plans, plus the Work plan's "Given To Me, Taken On By Me" and chapter "Having a say".
How do you do it?
- Write down what's on your mind, everything, fast, for two minutes.
- Draw a line. Left: in my hands. Right: not in my hands.
- Sort each item. If it's mixed, split it. "Appraisal outcome" goes right. "Send my manager a summary of what I shipped" goes left.
- Circle one item on the left and write the next step and when.
- Read the right column once and say: not mine to fix today.
Why does sorting help?
Stress researchers have known for decades that the same workload feels very different depending on how much say you have over it. Robert Karasek's classic model of job strain found that high demands are hardest on people when they also have low control (Karasek, 1979). Feeling some control, even over small things, is one of the most consistent buffers against stress (Skinner, 1996).
Overthinking makes everything feel equally urgent and equally yours. Sorting breaks that. You find that the left column is usually shorter and more concrete than the fear, and that the right column was never yours to solve at 11pm.
What does a filled-in page look like?
Here's a real-world example from a team lead before appraisal season:
| In my hands | Not in my hands |
|---|---|
| Write a one-page summary of what I shipped this year | My final rating |
| Ask my manager for 15 minutes to discuss it | The budget for hikes |
| Sleep by 11:30 this week | Whether my peer gets promoted first |
| Decide what I'd do if the rating is low | What the skip-level thinks of me |
The circled step was the summary, due Wednesday. Writing it took an hour. Seeing the right-hand column on paper didn't make it matter less, but it made it clear that worrying about it at night wasn't doing anything.
When should you use it?
- When work feels like a wall of things.
- Before your worry window, to decide what actually needs thinking about.
- After a hard conversation, to see which parts you can act on.
- Sunday evening, before the week starts.
Where is it in the Mentis app?
It's a journal activity used across the plans. In the Work stress plan, the same idea runs through chapter 4, "What I'm carrying" ("Given To Me, Taken On By Me"), and chapter 6, "Having a say", where you find one thing a day to do your way. In the Overthinking plan, it pairs with the what-if log.
Frequently asked questions
What is the circle of control?
A way of sorting worries into what you can influence and what you can't. It comes from ideas in Stoic philosophy and is used widely in stress management. The point is to put your energy where it can make a difference.
What if everything feels out of my control?
Look smaller. You may not control the deadline, but you control the first step, when you take a break and who you tell. There's almost always one thing on the left.
What do I do with the 'not in my hands' list?
Acknowledge it, rather than solving it. Some people read it once and say 'not mine to fix today'. If an item keeps coming back, it may belong in your worry window.