How to stop overthinking: a practical guide that actually works

What is overthinking?

Overthinking is when your mind goes round and round the same thoughts without getting anywhere. Psychologists call it repetitive negative thinking. It has two main forms. Worry looks ahead: what if I fail the interview, what if they're angry, what if something's wrong with my health. Rumination looks back: why did I say that, why does this always happen, what's wrong with me.

Thinking about a problem isn't the issue. Professor Ed Watkins, who has studied repetitive thinking for decades, separates constructive thinking, which is concrete and leads to action, from unconstructive thinking, which is abstract and evaluative ("why am I like this?"). Overthinking is the second kind. It feels like problem-solving, but it rarely solves anything.

Why do I overthink so much?

Overthinking survives because it feels useful. Your mind believes that if it thinks enough, it can prevent mistakes, prepare for every outcome, or finally understand why something hurt. A few common drivers:

• Need for certainty. Uncertainty feels unbearable, so the mind keeps searching for an answer it can't find. Researchers call this intolerance of uncertainty.
• High standards. Perfectionism turns every decision into a test.
• Fear of judgement. "Log kya kahenge" (what will people say) makes every conversation something to replay.
• Stress and tiredness. A tired brain is worse at letting go, which is why overthinking peaks at night.
• Beliefs about worry. "If I stop worrying, something bad will happen." Metacognitive research by Adrian Wells shows these beliefs keep the loop going.

How do I stop overthinking? 9 steps

1. Notice the loop and name it

You can't change a habit you don't see. When you notice the same thought for the third time, label it: "worrying", "replaying" or "what-if". Naming creates a little distance between you and the thought.

2. Give worry a time and a place

Choose a 15-minute worry window each day, say 6:30pm. When a worry comes up outside it, write it down and tell yourself "not now, at 6:30". In the window, go through the list. Many worries will have faded. Worry postponement has been studied since the 1980s, and McGowan and Behar's 2013 trial found it reduced worry and anxiety. Try our worry timer, and read how to use worry time.

3. Switch from "why" to "how"

"Why did this happen to me?" keeps you stuck. "How could I handle this next time?" or "What's one step I can take?" moves you forward. Watkins' research on concreteness training found that practising specific, concrete thinking reduced low mood. In the Mentis Overthinking plan this chapter is called How, not why.

4. Check your what-ifs

Write the what-if, then ask how likely it really is, what you'd do if it happened, and what's more likely to happen. In LaFreniere and Newman's 2020 study, people who wrote down their worries and checked back found that about 91% didn't come true, and many of the rest turned out better than expected. More in how to stop what-if thoughts.

5. Get out of your head and into your body

Overthinking lives in the head, so move your attention down. Breathe in, then take a second small inhale, then a long slow exhale (the "physiological sigh"), a few times. Or try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise, or walk for ten minutes without your phone. Our box breathing timer is a good start.

6. Separate what you can control from what you can't

Draw two columns: "in my hands" and "not in my hands". Take one small action on the first column and practise letting the second go. The Mentis activity "In My Hands, Not In My Hands" does exactly this.

7. Accept "good enough"

Many overthinkers are chasing a perfect decision. Most decisions don't have one. Set a time limit, choose based on what you know now, and remind yourself that a good-enough choice made today usually beats a perfect one made never.

8. Be kinder to the inner critic

Rumination often sounds like a harsh voice. Ask what you'd say to a friend in the same situation. Research on self-compassion, such as Breines and Chen's 2012 studies, found it increased motivation to improve rather than reducing it. See how to quiet your inner critic.

9. Protect your nights

Overthinking is loudest in bed. Move problem-solving to the early evening and write tomorrow's list before bed. More in how to stop overthinking at night.

MimiLoops aren't a sign something's wrong with you. They're a sign you care. Let's give that care somewhere useful to go.

Is overthinking the same as anxiety?

Not exactly. Overthinking is a thinking habit. Anxiety is a wider state of fear and tension that includes body symptoms like a racing heart, restlessness and poor sleep. Overthinking can feed anxiety, and anxiety makes overthinking worse. If worry feels uncontrollable most days, read overthinking vs anxiety or take our anxiety self-check.

How the Mentis Overthinking plan helps

The Quiet the Overthinking plan turns these steps into nine chapters, a few minutes a day for about three to four weeks: The first honest look, Not now, Out of the head, into the body, How, not why, What if, checked, The replay, Good enough, The inner critic and Holding it. It's built on rumination-focused CBT, worry postponement, metacognitive and self-compassion research.

Along the way you'll do activities like "One Loop, Start To Finish", "Today's What-Ifs", "Two Sighs" and "What The Critic Said, What A Friend Would Say". When a loop won't let go, tap Rant, say it out loud, and let Mimi pull out what's really bothering you.

Overthinking guides